This last couple of weeks have been a struggle. Things peaked on Monday when I was in terrible form in the office (sorry to my colleagues). Not even my lovely friends could cheer me up! Do you ever get those weeks where you just feel…unsettled is probably the right word. Nothing goes right and when this happens, I’m sensitive to things that are being said to me and I’m extra clumsy and if I drop one more thing I’ll sit on the ground and have a little cry.
It’s hard to point my finger on what’s making me unsettled but I know I’m just not right. I’ve often thought I have SAD, seasonal affective disorder, a feeling of down which comes with the change in the seasons, the winter blues. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the shorter evenings, more time spent in the house. Just this morning we were talking about how much darker it was. The struggle to get out of bed in the morning. The motivation to go out for a run. No more flowers around…generally the change in routine. Depression is serious, and by no means am I making little of it and the change in seasons can have an impact on everyone with varying degrees of severity. Is this the only reason I’m unsettled, probably not! It’s a multitude of stress rather than just one thing. I’ve had a chest infection for the last 3 weeks, my house is turned upside down again, I’m busy at work and now a family member is in hospital, lots of things to contend with but hey that’s life, lots of things to juggle. I suppose I shouldn’t complain, I’ve seen one of my great friends struggle with significantly more on her plate but we’re all different and deal with things completely differently. Their strength gives me strength.
The point is in the past I’ve given up and moved on but this time I’ve such a will to keep going. Desire to succeed is my sole driving force. Social media can often make us want to live up to the happy go lucky life all the time, but the reality is that it’s not real, everyone has down days, but these down days make the good days even better!
And what’s really important is to being able to distinguish when your unsettled and unhappy. There are so many things in our lives that can make us unhappy and well that’s just not nice, I’ve been there before, bad job, bad relationships and even bad places to live. So things can make us happy for the short term, but it’s really important to find out what are the things that make us unhappy and that’s when we need to fix it. What’s even more important is know that you can talk to someone, let them know exactly how you feel.
The last time I felt this unsettled or stressed, I thought rather than change something in my life why not add something, enhance myself instead of running away from the things I’m afraid of. That was 2 years ago when I first starting lashing, in all honesty I thought it would just be my friends and family, I never thought I would meet lots of you lovely ladies.
I suppose the point of this ramble is that’s it’s ok to feel like this sometimes. It’s world mental health day so there seems no better time than the present to open up and discuss how we feel. I’m not quite back to my normal self yet but I’m sure I soon will be! *insert mum singing Bob Marley* don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright!
Lashing of Love,